I have officially reached the epitome of nerd...

... yep. It happened.


I signed up for Geeks to Go's Geek University.


I'm going to learn how to fix computers.


Hooray for feeling strangely empowered.


More to come. Now... time to geek.

These Things I Say

Hooray for new blog names!


I'm thinking that I'm going to start posting here on a more regular basis... or maybe I'm just bored. Either way, I'm in a good mood because I got some work today in San Clemente. Hooray for freelance computer geeks! :D


And of course, be sure to check out my tech blog at processingpaprocki.blogspot.com! 

And again...

Ok, soul baring time.

So lately I feel like I really haven't been close to God at all. It's really weird, too. I mean, I know everyone and every relationship has its ups and downs, but I feel so… I don't know. Off.

I was actually doing really well at the beginning of the year. I made a resolution to read my Bible every day. And I did- for about three weeks. And then I just… lost interest. I don't know, I can't explain it. It was the weirdest thing. I got behind, missed a few days, then a week, then before I knew it I just gave up on it completely. And I really feel like my spiritual life has been next to non-existant for the last month or so.

I think what bothers me even more is that the whole situation is not really bothering me. I mean, it is, but not to the point that I'm actually changing anything. I'm probably not going to do anything about it tonight, and I'm always going to find some excuse to not make a change. That's what really sticks in my craw… but I don't know how to fix it.

The fact that I feel like a steaming pile of bovine excrement probably isn't helping either. Why do people get sick? It's quite possibly one of the most frustrating feelings in the world.

I don't know where to go. I'm not sure what to do to make a change. All I know is that I have a sneaking suspicion that if I don't, things are going to get very bad, very quick… and I'm not going to like it.

We need a word...

... that describes how I feel when I don't know what to post as my status. I feel like 'fish sticks' just isn't cutting it anymore... and I definitely feel like my laptop needs to stop sucking at life and start not sucking at life.

In short... fish sticks.

For now.

St. Valentine's Self-Refutation

Spring is nearly upon us and love is in the air; young romantics search for ways to express their emotions to the objects of their affections. We have been socialized to concentrate our caring gestures and loving attitudes on one particular day: Valentine’s Day. This day has been marked as the ultimate day to show love, give gifts and remember those whom we truly care for.

The problem, though, is that people give gifts, love and attention because it is expected. Marking a specific period of time (in this case, a day) to show close friends, family and significant others love and attention takes away from the meaning of that gesture. It’s like the concept of free will in love, similar to how God gives humanity free will to choose: if one is forced or expected to show love or care, are there they truly showing their feelings? Or are they simply following dictated trends and commands?

Take, for example, the husband who buys his wife flowers one day as a surprise. Undoubtedly, she would thank him and be filled with joy and love at the thought of this sweet gesture. The next week, the husband returns with another floral gift; bouquets begin to follow the husband home on a regular, weekly basis. Soon, the wife will begin to expect the husband to repeat these gestures – people are creatures of habit, both internally and externally – and at this point two things will happen. The wife will no longer be impressed with the husband’s displays of affection (they are routine, after all- what’s so special about something that happens day in and day out?), and if the husband should neglect to bring his weekly romantic gestures, the wife will naturally assume that something is amiss in their relationship; something must have caused him to change his behavior. Constant, returning gestures of romance, while promoted as ideal, are in reality self-destructive.

The other issue with Valentine’s Day is the materialism. Today’s capitalist society has told the Western populace that, in general, the most significant way to show love and devotion is to buy the loved party materials gifts, or purchase services offered by themed promoters. In essence, we must buy the love we show others; to do otherwise is considered cheap or uncaring.

Now, I’m not saying not to buy gifts for loved ones, and I’m certainly not saying that showering loved ones with gifts, care and attention is wrong; indeed, love is a constantly evolving, action-based state. I have dated my girlfriend for almost 15 months; I constantly show my love for her with acts, deeds and gifts with random surprises and gestures of affection (I love you, Kelsey). But to devote one particular day to romance – to expect romance – is essentially a self-refuting concept.

Haiti and the Need to Appear Caring

It really bothers me that Haiti has been such a huge factor in the news for the last two weeks. People have seemed so caring and eager to help those in need. I really have to doubt, however, the sincerity of the populace's actions, as well as question the motives behind their interest in the situation.

The situation in Haiti (which you would be unfamiliar with only if you lived in a depp, dark cave somewhere in the northern province of Uzbekistan) has recieved only constant media attention. Coverage of aid and relief by mass media has bombarded the public. Everyone, from FOX News to Facebook, is hopping on the social justice bandwagon. Why? Because it's the right thing to do, and to not care abotu people hurting and dying and starving is morally reprehensible.

Wake up! When do we as Americans EVER give a damn about something other than the bottom line and the size of our pocketbooks? As cold-blooded capitalists, it's our duty to look out for number one and step on as many hungry, starving, dying people as it takes to satisfy our instiable need for profit, wealth and self-satisfaction. Why do we care so much about people who's lives have been destroyed by a natural disaster? After all, it's their fault for living in such an unprepared manner.

I heard a quote the other day that really hit a nerve. I hate to be a hypocrite, but I can't soundly attribute the quote or cite it directly. However, the essential message behind was, "It's depressing that it takes a tragedy like the one in Haiti to really wake people up around aiding and helping others." It seems really hypocritical to make this kind of comment at a time like this. You are saying that you think people should care more about aiding others, but you are only pointing it out when there's a crisis to be concerned about. The speaker in this case is just as pompous and arrogant as the rest of the populace for caring about a social justic cause only during a time of crisis. You're no better than everyone else you are criticizing.

It's depressing that people only notice about people caring (or not) for others only during a time of crisis.

It's depressing that no one stops to think about this.

Christmas Happenings

I know, I know, I'm ridiculously late posting this. Bad Robby, bad.

Christmas was actually pretty good for me this year. Usually I hate Christmas. H-A-T-E, hate. Everything is so commercialized- the advertising, the sales, the gift exchanges and returns. Everyone talks about 'the reason for the season', and justifies themselves by rading their Bible for 10 minutes Christmas morning, then diving into their material posessions like a greedy pack of starved hynenas.

But I digress.

My Christmas was actually not bad. I got a lot of useful presents this year- clothes and food. For a college student, getting free stuff like that is like hitting the jackpot at Morengo (which the guy next door actually did last semester. Still trying to get "my share" from him…). For the most part, it was an average, relaxing Christmas. It was what happened after Christmas that really shook me up.

My girlfriend of over a year broke up with me.

She told me over the phone on New Year's Day. According to her, "When we started dating, we needed each other. Now, we don't."

Talk about a punch to the stomach. I didn't know what to do. For the first couple of days after we rang in the new year, I was a miss. I missed her, obviously. But there was something constantly nagging at the back of my head: What did I do wrong? Could I have stopped this from happening?

Well, at that point there was nothing I could do. We had split, and that was that. I knew that I had to move on… and hey, I was single! Not that being single was really a high point. After spending almost fourteen months with someone, you tend to get a little attached to them. There was something about her smile, her laugh, her embrace that just… captivated me. Face it, I was lost. I wanted her back, and I would do anything to have another chance with her.

After a few weeks of talking things through and letting the dust settle, she came out to CBU. We went out to dinner and talked things over. We talked about the good parts of our relationship, the not-so-good parts, the parts we wanted back and the parts we wanted to fix. After four hours of laughs, tears and double-doubles, we decided that we wanted our relationship back- sort of. We are now back together, but we have dialed back nearly every aspect of our relationship. Physically, spiritually, emotionally- we are starting over.

And you know what? It feels great. God is a God of new beginnings. I know that he has given me a new beginning with my girlfriend, a new opportunity to care for her and love her. And I'm not going to mess things up again.