Ok, soul baring time.
So lately I feel like I really haven't been close to God at all. It's really weird, too. I mean, I know everyone and every relationship has its ups and downs, but I feel so… I don't know. Off.
I was actually doing really well at the beginning of the year. I made a resolution to read my Bible every day. And I did- for about three weeks. And then I just… lost interest. I don't know, I can't explain it. It was the weirdest thing. I got behind, missed a few days, then a week, then before I knew it I just gave up on it completely. And I really feel like my spiritual life has been next to non-existant for the last month or so.
I think what bothers me even more is that the whole situation is not really bothering me. I mean, it is, but not to the point that I'm actually changing anything. I'm probably not going to do anything about it tonight, and I'm always going to find some excuse to not make a change. That's what really sticks in my craw… but I don't know how to fix it.
The fact that I feel like a steaming pile of bovine excrement probably isn't helping either. Why do people get sick? It's quite possibly one of the most frustrating feelings in the world.
I don't know where to go. I'm not sure what to do to make a change. All I know is that I have a sneaking suspicion that if I don't, things are going to get very bad, very quick… and I'm not going to like it.
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I think that God knows that sometimes we just aren't always feeling it and we do have our up's and downs, but the greatest thing is that He will always be there for us and love us and will just wait for when we do come back to Him.
ReplyDeleteWe all have ups and downs for sure, we are human! Even if you are feeling this way don't just completley give up, pray about!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty. That's one attribute I totally love about you. And I was in this spot last summer. It's rough. I'll be praying for you. And I'm not just saying that and then forgetting about it... I really will :)
ReplyDeletewe wax and wane; the amazing, wonderful, incredible God we know is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, loving us, holding us in His palm, his angels walking with us, and welcoming us as the father a prodigal with joy, celebration and comfort.
ReplyDeleteYou know me; God isn't one of my strong points. That being said, good habits are as hard to break as bad ones. The feeling of dread can be a catalyst, a motivator. If it's important enough, you'll figure it out. (And, it was good seeing you today too. :D)
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